Expectations

Love is what?

Lately the Lord has been taking me back to a time where He was teaching me about 1 Corinthians 13, the chapter known for being the love chapter.

When He last took me here I was going through a weird transition in a relationship. I had the opportunity to be hurt and angry but I wanted to understand what love really looked like, biblically. I wanted to not react emotionally, but to handle it rightly.

In this season, I found out that love was a lot different than I had assumed but a lot more fulfilling.

The scripture says,

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends.”

There is one particular statement in this scripture that transformed the way that I love and it is, “Love does not insist on its own way”.

When I read that, it blew my mind.

Now, we can all be super spiritual and say, well duh I know that.

But that hit home to me, it was an exploding revelation in my heart.

To not insist on my own way.

That’s not that simple.

When I read that I just saw, “is not selfish”.

That’s how I saw it.

Even when not getting my own way, I still should respond in love.

Sometimes it hurts to choose to love when someone doesn’t love you back like you want them to, or doesn’t respond the way you want them to, but the moment you choose to love regardless of their response, the weight is lifted off your shoulders and you are free.

To not insist on your own way changes everything about love.

It makes it sacrificial.

Not about yourself.

But about the other person.

This past week the Lord brought me back to this.

I got disappointed because I had set some expectations and they didn’t turn out how I wanted them to.

And He was showing me that for me to place my expectations on people and then get angry because they don’t get met isn’t “not insisting on my own way”, but it’s saying that if this situations isn’t done my way, I’m have every right to be angry.

That’s not how relationships with any human being works.

We can’t be hurt when people don’t meet our expectations, and if you think about that, it’s almost ridiculous to assume people will meet our expectations to begin with.

Now, don’t stop setting standards and expectations.

Just learn that if someone doesn’t meet them, it doesn’t mean they are in the wrong.

And it doesn’t give you the right to be angry with them.

Simply talk it out.

That's just too good.

I don’t have to be all bent out of shape because MY expectations weren’t met.

 That set me free, friends.

Bottle

When we allow circumstances inside of us, they affect us.

 

I had a conversation with one of my best friends today and in the conversation she was telling me about a very horrible and traumatizing thing from her past that she’d found out about.  

While she was talking about it she was sharing about how hurt and mentally defeated she felt.

I told her something and I knew I had to share it,

Here was my response,

“Honestly, does it change who you are? 

Does it affect where you’re going in your future? 

Does it affect your relationship with the Lord? 

Does it mean you’ve been given an excuse to put off changing the world with the Gospel?

NO. 

It doesn’t. 

You forgive and move forward. 

As Todd White says, ‘you can’t afford to have a bad day.’ 

There is a generation of people depending upon you. 

You FIGHT. 

Even when you don’t feel like it.

Even when you don’t want to.

Even when you’ve been through Hell.

You know that circumstances don’t change that He is good and never changing.

You’re not subject to your mind and emotions. 

They are subject to you. ”

It’s a beautiful thing, how sometimes the Lord says something through us that we didn’t even know was in us. How a lot of the times, for me anyways, I’ll be mid-sentence while getting the revelation of what just came out of my mouth.

But we need to know this.

It may be a horribly shaking experience or circumstance, but only when we allow them inside of us does it get ugly.

It’s like the messages in the bottle that get thrown into the sea for someone to find and read. They pass through the entire ocean; salt, mold, seaweed, fish, garbage, algae, and all the things that the ocean contains, but if it’s sealed, the message never gets affected at all.

The same is true of us; we can be thrown somewhere overwhelming in the middle of horrid circumstances and they don’t have to affect us.

Only when we drink in the things around us do they affect us.

We don’t have to drink in the algae or the seaweed.

We don’t have to be moved.

We have been given the choice.

David said, 

"He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken." Psalm 62:2

Solomon said, 

"When the whirlwind passes, the wicked is no more, But the righteous has an everlasting foundation."

Proverbs 10:25

And Isaiah said, 

"The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, Because he trusts in You."

Isaiah 26:3

Choose steadfastness, choose joy, choose not to be affected by the storms that surround.

Jesus is consistent. 

Jesus is good. 

He's good,

every single time.

Sense of Humor

This past month, like the New Year tradition calls for, I made New Year’s Resolutions. 

Or, things I’m really just simply believing and praying to happen this year.

That list, I’ll share later on, but let me start off with a little bit of craziness that has been happening.

Photography by Abigail Williams

This past month I’ve really been struggling with some deep soul issues.

I’ve been dealing with the monsters of jealousy, envy, and bitterness… that family of issues.

And it’s all been internal, for the most part.

Those thoughts that aren’t yours but you still have to fight them and speak the truth over your mind, that kind of thing.

Internal.

Until one day I began to make remarks and sarcastic insults.

Word vomit to the utmost.

I know, I know, totally rude. It is not who I am, it was horrible.

But, for whatever reason, I was. 

And then yesterday my roommate Brittnie and our friend Mariah were doing this thing where we all sit around and share with each other things we see in each other that could be adjusted or cut off, etc. To better ourselves.

And in the middle of this Share Circle I ended up just getting it all out on the table and exposed this horrible monster I had been dealing with internally.

What was so crazy was I truly wanted to honor and respect this person but because of the envy and selfishness of my own heart I was putting up this wall that was affecting even my relationship with God.

Which is ultimately what brought me to this exposing of this monster to begin with.

But what happened next was crazy. 

I had let a seed into my heart and it began to grow until there wasn’t any more space. 

It was either the giant plant or me. 

So obviously I got a shovel and began to do some deep soul searching.

The scriptures about husband’s prayers being hindered because of lack of honor to their wives (1 Peter 3:7) began to be highlighted to me. 

And the same concept is true in Mark 11:25 where Jesus says, “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

So last night after all this occurred, I ended up reading Ephesians before bed, it was late and I normally don’t stay up late, but I felt like I was supposed to, so I got out Old Faithful and started skimming through Ephesians to see if there was something that stood out to me, and that’s when I came across Ephesians 5.

The first two verses, “1Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

Our lives are supposed to follow His. 

Which led me to ask myself:

How do I walk without envy or pride?

 Sacrificial love. 

By choosing someone over my own self.

It is humbling, humiliating, hard, and uncomfortable.

You may feel like you deserve to be patted on the back or recognized, or you might believe you’re right, you might even BE right, but what is being right if there is no one to share being right with?  

It’s hard to be selfless, it’s hard to respect when someone is being dishonoring to you, and it’s hard to do things when we don’t want to.

But, we are to be imitators of Christ, walking in love and giving ourselves up.

Now, I’m not sharing this because I have it all down perfect.

 In fact, far from it.

I just am sharing it because when I opened up my bible this morning my resolutions fell out and one stared back at me, “Grace to do hard things”.

God’s sense of humor sometimes.

Ha.

Outfit: 

Dress- Free People

Necklace & Bracelets- Forever 21