Risk

Risk.

Such a terrifyingly beautiful thing.

I’ve spent a great amount of time analyzing my relationships, my issues, my faults, my wrongs, my assumptions, and my reactions.

And I’ve still yet to scratch the surface of relationships.

They are so vast and beautiful, so complex yet so simple.

 A few days ago in Morning Prayer, my class and I were told to write down 5 things that we desired more than anything, and to declare and pray for those things.

One of the things I wrote down was that mindsets of relationships (all, not just opposite sex ones) would be broken down and that I would have clarity and revelation on them.

So, I prayed for that, truly believing that God would answer.

Well, as the day continued on I was constantly thinking of this prayer and God was constantly speaking to me concerning relationships, and even to the point where I had to write down things in my Notes on my phone so I wouldn’t forget.

The next day came, and I began to have feelings I had felt 4 years ago when I was in a horrible relationship—feelings of rejection, lack of control, and feelings of being weak.

God began to tell me that I couldn’t respond to new people the way I would have to past people, because everyone has different motives and intentions.

I’ve learned that in this dating world we all play this game in relationships; we have the girls who won’t text a guy first, or we wait for however long before we respond and so on.

But that’s not a realistic relationship; it’s putting up this image of your self that isn’t true.

I’m not saying that all girls should go and pursue the man, because I definitely think the man should pursue the lady.

But, I also don’t think you should play so hard to get, that who YOU ARE gets lost and you start pretending to be someone who you really aren’t.

Communicate.

Be vulnerable.

Be yourself.

It’s scary, yes. But love is so worth it.

It’s the only thing actually worth it.

Love.

What if it turns out good and works out?

And don’t even forget, that the things you learn from the experience are worth every ounce of fear that you face.

Even if you get rejected, the growth you experience is worth it.

Now, obviously, remember to guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23), and remember not to awaken love until it is ready (Song of Solomon 2:7).

But, also don’t react simply from the fear of the past that you freeze something with great potential.

God is so good.

He began to expose the fear in my heart of letting someone close, simply because I was assuming they were like someone I was hurt by.

We have to know that everyone is different and love is risky.

It’s beautiful.

Jesus risked it with us.

We should do the same.

Learning not to Settle

Sometimes loneliness happens and those are the days we have to learn to not run into those people who we've ever felt wanted by. 

We can't settle for just wanted.

    

This past weekend I was in Huntsville at a women’s conference, and while I was there, my friend and I were talking and she said something that really impacted me, and I think it will impact you all as well.

She said, “I’m staying at this host home, and I’m staying in the son’s room (he wasn’t there), and on his walls are scriptures and all over his room are books about God and growth in God and next to his bed is a sermon written out about porn and breakthrough. And as I’m sitting in the room completely saturated in the presence of God looking around God says to me, ‘You wait for this.’” 

God was telling her to wait for a man who has completely surrounded himself with God and has a passion for the more of God.

When she said that, it just exploded on the inside of me.

Well, that night I’m sitting on my couch at home, and I had just opened my bible and began to Song of Solomon, and this scripture came alive to me, 

“I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.”

I’ve always read that and been like, OKAY DON’T TALK TO OR PURSUE LOVE UNTIL YOUR READY… and yes, that’s true, but I never went to the next portion of that scripture.

But, look just a little longer

“Who is this coming out of the wilderness
like pillars of smoke, 
perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, 
with all the merchant’s fragrant powders?
Behold, it is Solomon’s couch, 
with sixty valiant men around it, 
of the valiant of Israel.
They all hold swords, 
being expert in war. 
Every man has his sword on his thigh
because of fear in the night.”

When you wait to awaken love, not much longer comes this person out of the wilderness (place of process) like pillars of smoke PERFUMED with myrrh and frankincense with all the merchants fragrant powders…

Frankincense: it was the resin from a tree. It was obtained by cutting the bark of the tree and letting the resin harden. It was then ground into a powder. Though it tasted bitter, it was known for how freely it burned, leaving nothing behind. This is symbolic of a life of holiness and righteousness and being sold out to the Lord.

Myrrh: It symbolizes suffering, trials, tribulations, and afflictions. The church of Smyrna is known as the “Suffering Church”. This makes sense when one realizes that the name “Smyrna” comes from myrrh.

When I read that, it wasn’t to take away from the obvious representation of Jesus to the bride, I absolutely believe that.

But I also see that on earth, you don’t awaken love too soon or you won’t be ready to look up and see the man/woman coming up from the wilderness drenched in the LORD, or the great merchants powders, like a pillar of smoke, burning for the LORD and righteous and experienced.

Don’t awaken love until it pleases.

(http://whispersofthespirit.com/gold_frankincense_and_myrrh.html)