Fruit of your lips

I have a friend named Kelsey.

We’ve been friends since I was in 9^th grade.

6 years now.

She’s one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met.

There is one thing that I’ve just recently noticed about her that I admire so much. 

While most women I know, or am surrounded by, stand in the mirror, turn and examine every angle of their body.

Their reactions are normally awful comments of self hatred, needing to be “on a diet”, complaints of saggy this, oversized this, a bulge here, a dimple here, the sighs, the groans, the crying, the depressed walk-away, the list is forever long.

But, Kelsey is different.

She gets dressed, looks at herself, and moves on.

I don’t actually believe I’ve ever heard her complain once about her body.

Never.

Not even once.

If she doesn’t like her outfit, she just changes. But I have never heard her say, “Oh look how bloated, my stomach, yada yada”.

So I began to think about how much I longed to feel okay in my own skin.

To look in the mirror and not pick apart every flaw I think I see.

Through this whole process I realized I had never heard her mom say anything like that either.

In fact, the way her mom says something is “I just feel gross today.”

But never, fat, too lanky, or anything.

Now, I understand that she’s basically a model.

But, that doesn’t change the way that every woman I know sees themselves through this cloudy perspective.

Even if they are the most beautiful women I’ve ever laid eyes on.

I realized in this whole thought process, that Kelsey’s mom had never complained about her weight, or anything about herself really. And therefore Kelsey doesn’t either. She hadn’t been brainwashed to believe that her body is odd, too much, too little, too anything.

She’s content and confident.

Proverbs 18:11 says,

“The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.”

Now that in itself, is good enough. But, there’s more to unfold, our words create a norm for those coming behind us to live in.

And now, because our parents have said certain things, and our classmates, and society around us, we live in this social norm with all these horrid thoughts about our image.

When, we just have to change our words.

Because when we change our words, it will change our world.

Hoping again

I love meeting new people.

The mystery behind why someone is the way they are has always been so intriguing to me.

 One of my favorite things to do is talk to someone I’ve never met, and have a full conversation.

Not just a petty conversation in passing, but a rich conversation.

Ones of stories, dreams, passions, friends, and family.

To just sit down, without distractions and hear someone has been one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done.

To sit without an agenda of your own, just to really hear someone.

If you just stop and listen to people, you can learn so much about people and even about yourself.

About nine months ago I had the opportunity to serve at my school and do this Christmas outreach where families applied for their children to get gifts, because the families couldn’t afford it.

In this process, I got to sit at the table and answer any questions that the families would have about the application.

As you sit, some families are reserved while others are outgoing. 

There was one family that impacted my life.

This couple probably in their 40’s sat down, they were reserved yet super polite.

I realized in this process that people would start to open up if you just started asking questions and being genuinely kind, so I jumped in and started asking questions.

The questions weren’t anything heavy, just about their kids, their ages, how they met, etc.

And as we started talking, the father shared about how he had worked in mining, and got hurt, had to have surgery and then on top of that, got sick on the job (because of the air in the mines), got laid off because he was sick and how the wife had to become the caretaker of the family.

He had copper poisoning, or something like that.

It took 3 years to get the toxins out of his body.

He had just recently gotten well enough to start living again.

As we talked, I felt like I needed to ask them this crazy, awkward question.

And I was thinking, “Lord, are You sure?!?” But I knew I had to.

So I did.

I asked the couple this audacious question, 

“If there was one thing you could do, a dream, something wild. Nothing holding you back, what would you want?”

And they kind of smiled and laughed as if they had no hope to even answer such a question.

So I kept prodding, and being like, 

“Oh come on! One thing!”

And the father replied under his breath, 

“I’d just like a new roof.”

And the wife agreed almost ashamed, 

“Yeah, a new roof. That would be nice.”

It was as if time stood still.

It was the most shocking thing I’d ever heard.

The dream they could think of in that moment… was not outrageous.

It was something that people have done every single day.

So the conversation kept going, as if that was never said. 

We moved on, talked about their house, and how they lived in a trailer and how their 8 year old son lived in their bedroom with them, how they wanted a bigger house.

As the conversation was coming to a close, we had hit a lot of ground through all our conversations, the father smiled and said, 

“I’d like to buy some land and finally build the house of my dreams.”

When they left. It was as if I was talking to a completely different person.

A person who once again began to dream and hope impossible things.

That’s what happens when you sit and listen to people, and actually hear them.

You learn the most valuable things in life.

You learn that everyone needs hope and love poured out all over; especially the ones that a closed down the most.

They need it the most.

We can share hope.

We know hope.

Hope has a name.

Hope’s name is Jesus.