Stumblin' into a dream

There is a moment in every ones life; I think multiple moments, actually.

Where we step outside of reality and dream of giant things we hope that we get to conquer someday.

 

For instance, a few days ago I had lunch with an old friend from beauty school, and we were just sharing what had been going on for the past two years and she was talking about how she wanted to adopt or foster teenagers. Which is impossible for her to do right now (without favor from God, and favor with some people at the top of the food chain, so to speak.)

She said things like, “Ronna, I know I’m supposed to be an activist. I’ve always been one. I have always been the one fighting for people who can’t stand up for themselves” with tears swelling up in her eyes.

These are not dreams we pull from someone else who has given a motivational speech one day in high school.

These are dreams that hook us so deep when we talk about them we feel like they are touchable, the moment the mouth is opened to express it, it becomes envisioned in the room around us.

Its like the movie Cinderella, when everyone is making her dress for the ball—mice and all—the mice get on lamps to hold the thread while the others slide down the thread like firemen with pearls to do strands for jewelry and the birds are flying in diagonals around them to make bows.

When I share my dreams, I feel like that’s almost happening around the room.

It no longer feels like it’s just mine, but now it’s as if the world around me caught hold, and embraces every angle, the sun stays out longer, the stars shine brighter, the wind blows stronger.

And I talk as fast as I can, because for some reason when I share my dreams, I can’t get it out fast enough.

One thing God has been showing me lately about my dreams is that sometimes when we start out going after them, we sometimes forget to ask Him what to do next, and end up doing what someone else does because it’s what we have seen.

But, that is not satisfying at all. The most satisfying thing in life is to say yes to whatever God asks. And not think about the consequences that follow.

Obviously if He hasn’t given direction, before you move forward you count the cost of whatever it is you are doing and always make sure to follow peace, or as some call it, your conscience. If you feel uneasy, step back, and say no.

But if He speaks first, always say Yes.

Without a second thought.

 Because, with Him, you can’t fail.

He likes when we ask impossible prayers, like the one my friend has to pray to be able to adopt. 

Those are His favorite kind of prayers.

Because only He can get the glory.

He rightfully desires all of it, any ways.

Emotions

I have always been someone who writes stuff on my hand.

Reminders, phone numbers, grocery lists, scriptures, all kinds of things.

I have been a little emotional lately. 

A lot of reasons for it; being in a strange transition between school years, in a season of trusting the Lord more than ever, and having some funk go on in other areas, as well.

 From being under-emotional, to the complete extreme end of the spectrum. 

Emotions are something that the Lord has really been putting me in the ringer to conquer.

It’s interesting how we get super vulnerable after we get emotional.

And like the reminders I put on my hand, emotional reactions are almost like a constant reminder that we are vulnerable and weak. 

One thing the Lord has been showing me in this whole thing, is that my pride gets in the way and I react instead of respond (I’m working on it).

And the only way I’ve learned how to conquer that is to pray ALL the time, especially when something intense happens. And be emotional with God instead of taking it out on someone else.

It’s totally okay to be emotional with Him, because He not only hears what we are saying, but He hears what our hearts are saying.

And I've learned to not let the constant reminder push me away, but to use it as a great motivation to launch me towards the One who is ultimately, always, always, always my strength. 

The Word does say, "in our weakness, His strength is made perfect." 

Picturesque

It’s funny how we take pictures.

We all get posed and put on our best face.

We fluff our hair, adjust our clothing, get on our best side, lift up our chins to avoid the double chin, and turn to our perfect angle with a big cheesy smile. 

 

When I’ve noticed that candid shots of others seem to be my favorite.

They may not be posed, but they are perfectly placed.

They may not be happy, but they absolutely honest.

They may not be altered and adjusted, but they are all together lovely.

I’m reading this book right now called “Love Does” by Bob Goff and he makes a statement that has been ringing in my ears for a while, it goes something like,

“I used to want to fix people, but now I just want to be with them.”

I think that’s why I love candid pictures of people.

Because it’s the capturing of authentic moments, the capturing of a genuine smile, a smirk of mischief, a glimpse of love.

Family is kind of like that.

I think we want them to be perfect, but it wouldn’t be quite as interesting of a journey if they were.

God’s kind of like that, too.

He’s not asking for us to fake a smile to look perfect, He’s just asking us to join Him in His picture, and as we join His picture, He takes us and make’s us candidly beautiful.

We don’t have to fake a smile with God, better yet; He’d prefer us with our real tears of pain, anger, and every other emotion we have.

I think that’s why I like candid pictures, because they capture the very thing God did to me, captured me in my raw state.

p.s. Happy 28th Birthday, D'nae. I hope you like your candle.