Alive

I fell in love with a Man, the spring of my senior year.

And when I did… things changed forever.

I encountered this Man who over these few years, has been showing Himself to me little by little.

He’s the most intriguing person I’ve ever had the honor to know.

He reached into my safe planned out life and changed everything.

I went from a little girl imprisoned by walls I had put up from lies, brokenness, and abandonment.

My walls were thick, so no one could get through them.

To “protect” myself.

I was entangled in lies and bound by fear.

And one day, a random day at a conference sitting on a hard floor, as tears began to form in my eyes and roll down my cheeks, my prison walls began to fall and my heart that had been hardened by rejection, turned to mush and collapsed in this overwhelming presence of love.

I crossed a line that day.

A line that would change my life forever.

I had gone to church my whole life, but I didn't know Jesus. 

And that day, I encountered a Man I'd never met.

I surrendered my life to that Man that day.

 His name is Jesus Christ.

It didn't look perfect, and it still doesn't.

But I wouldn't change a thing.

It was the best decision i've ever made in my entire life.

It changed my life.

He changed my life.

I've never met someone so beautiful, so satisfying, so true, so loyal, and everything He ever promised to be. 

He is exactly who He says He is.

Thank You, Jesus, for dying on that cross so many years ago for me.

For reaching into my overtaking darkness and pulling me out.

Thank You, Father, for adoption.

And Thank You, Holy Spirit, for your friendship, guidance, counsel, peace, and joy in my life.

Rose of Sharon, Bright and Morning star, You are the lover of my soul.

“Oh, what joy for those

    whose disobedience is forgiven,

    whose sin is put out of sight!

Yes, what joy for those

    whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt,

    whose lives are lived in complete honesty!

When I refused to confess my sin,

    my body wasted away,

    and I groaned all day long.

Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me.

    My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.

Finally, I confessed all my sins to you

    and stopped trying to hide my guilt.

I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.”

    And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.”

Psalm 32:1-5