I have been reading this book called Dealing With the Praise
and Rejection of Man this past week and there is this paragraph that talks
about rejection, and how when we’ve been wounded by rejection we start to
gamble with every relationship, to see if it’s “worth the pain” that it could
hypothetically cause.
It was crazy how relevant it it was to the circumstance that
I was in; I just had a falling out with a guy that I really liked. And without
realizing it, I was gambling in my head and my heart for 8 months to see if it
was worth the hypothetical pain, etc that relationships cause.
And the moment my walls were finally worn down enough to
fall, I decided it was worth the risk, and well, it didn’t end up how I had
hoped.
I definitely don’t blame him, though. I don’t know how much
I’d be willing to pound on walls and get denied time after time.
But, I began to read this book.
It brought so much light to the walls I had built and how
this particular situation was an opportunity where I could either build some
new walls, or I could get a sledgehammer and start some serious remodeling.
I had been trapped in these walls for too long, so I picked
Project Demolition.
And I began this healing process.
It has been the most freeing, and beautiful experience that
I’ve ever gone through.
It has thrown me into a crazy deep level with the Father
that I wouldn’t have even been able to reach without brokenness. And I sure
wouldn’t have been able to begin to touch it with walls up.
Walls are prisons that we build around ourselves in hope to
protect ourselves.
When in reality, they block us from ever touching the things
our very beings long for—love.
I’m tired of being trapped in; its time to grab our
sledgehammers.
Its time to be vulnerable.
