Expectations

Love is what?

Lately the Lord has been taking me back to a time where He was teaching me about 1 Corinthians 13, the chapter known for being the love chapter.

When He last took me here I was going through a weird transition in a relationship. I had the opportunity to be hurt and angry but I wanted to understand what love really looked like, biblically. I wanted to not react emotionally, but to handle it rightly.

In this season, I found out that love was a lot different than I had assumed but a lot more fulfilling.

The scripture says,

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends.”

There is one particular statement in this scripture that transformed the way that I love and it is, “Love does not insist on its own way”.

When I read that, it blew my mind.

Now, we can all be super spiritual and say, well duh I know that.

But that hit home to me, it was an exploding revelation in my heart.

To not insist on my own way.

That’s not that simple.

When I read that I just saw, “is not selfish”.

That’s how I saw it.

Even when not getting my own way, I still should respond in love.

Sometimes it hurts to choose to love when someone doesn’t love you back like you want them to, or doesn’t respond the way you want them to, but the moment you choose to love regardless of their response, the weight is lifted off your shoulders and you are free.

To not insist on your own way changes everything about love.

It makes it sacrificial.

Not about yourself.

But about the other person.

This past week the Lord brought me back to this.

I got disappointed because I had set some expectations and they didn’t turn out how I wanted them to.

And He was showing me that for me to place my expectations on people and then get angry because they don’t get met isn’t “not insisting on my own way”, but it’s saying that if this situations isn’t done my way, I’m have every right to be angry.

That’s not how relationships with any human being works.

We can’t be hurt when people don’t meet our expectations, and if you think about that, it’s almost ridiculous to assume people will meet our expectations to begin with.

Now, don’t stop setting standards and expectations.

Just learn that if someone doesn’t meet them, it doesn’t mean they are in the wrong.

And it doesn’t give you the right to be angry with them.

Simply talk it out.

That's just too good.

I don’t have to be all bent out of shape because MY expectations weren’t met.

 That set me free, friends.