formulaic devotion

Fall in love with Jesus.

Don’t just read all the formulated devotionals about Him.

Really fall in love with Him and His love story.

I just finished reading Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller this weekend.

It’s about dropping the formulaic theme that Christianity has kind of evolved into and finding the simple vein of falling in love with Jesus.

Donald does the most breath-taking job of giving a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden and the fall.

He describes it as the most beautiful love story/betrayal ever written.

He does such a ridiculously good job at putting me directly in the garden of Eden, watching as a fly on the wall, as Adam spent quite a while (as you can imagine) naming all the animals, looking for a companion.

And one night, God put Adam into a deep sleep and pulled out Adam’s rib and created Eve from that rib (You guys can read Genesis for the rest).

When Donald describes this moment, he talks about how God had strategically let Adam work for such a long time naming animals, so that the moment he lays eyes on Eve… the first human being ever, he would love her and cherish her completely.

When I saw a glimpse of the beauty in Adam and Eve meeting, it somehow impacted the way I saw the bible, in a way I’ve never been impacted.

Not only the moment they meet, but the way that Adam and Eve had THE purest relationship with God, EVER.

That before the fall, they were in perfect communion with God,

And the moment they ate the fruit, it was betrayal of the worst kind.

Imagine being cheated on by a spouse, but worse.

Betraying God, the creator.

It showed me that there is such beauty, love, and heartache in the Bible that we, Americanized Christians have overlooked in the midst of our performance-based-emotion-driven way of seeing and seeking God.

There is so much emotion and love in the Bible.

Not just the “I know God loves me” love, no, this deep, pure, unfathomable love that cannot be contained nor described in mere words.

But has to be sung, danced, or cried out.

That the Bible is this love story that we have washed down into 3 songs and 3 step messages on how to be a better human but it its purely the most beautiful story ever written.

I don’t really have much else to say.

Let us not look over the beauty of the words that God breathed, 

Let us let Him breathe them on us.

Alive

I fell in love with a Man, the spring of my senior year.

And when I did… things changed forever.

I encountered this Man who over these few years, has been showing Himself to me little by little.

He’s the most intriguing person I’ve ever had the honor to know.

He reached into my safe planned out life and changed everything.

I went from a little girl imprisoned by walls I had put up from lies, brokenness, and abandonment.

My walls were thick, so no one could get through them.

To “protect” myself.

I was entangled in lies and bound by fear.

And one day, a random day at a conference sitting on a hard floor, as tears began to form in my eyes and roll down my cheeks, my prison walls began to fall and my heart that had been hardened by rejection, turned to mush and collapsed in this overwhelming presence of love.

I crossed a line that day.

A line that would change my life forever.

I had gone to church my whole life, but I didn't know Jesus. 

And that day, I encountered a Man I'd never met.

I surrendered my life to that Man that day.

 His name is Jesus Christ.

It didn't look perfect, and it still doesn't.

But I wouldn't change a thing.

It was the best decision i've ever made in my entire life.

It changed my life.

He changed my life.

I've never met someone so beautiful, so satisfying, so true, so loyal, and everything He ever promised to be. 

He is exactly who He says He is.

Thank You, Jesus, for dying on that cross so many years ago for me.

For reaching into my overtaking darkness and pulling me out.

Thank You, Father, for adoption.

And Thank You, Holy Spirit, for your friendship, guidance, counsel, peace, and joy in my life.

Rose of Sharon, Bright and Morning star, You are the lover of my soul.

“Oh, what joy for those

    whose disobedience is forgiven,

    whose sin is put out of sight!

Yes, what joy for those

    whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt,

    whose lives are lived in complete honesty!

When I refused to confess my sin,

    my body wasted away,

    and I groaned all day long.

Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me.

    My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.

Finally, I confessed all my sins to you

    and stopped trying to hide my guilt.

I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.”

    And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.”

Psalm 32:1-5

Temperaments?

Introverts or Extroverts

This past week I was hanging with one of my friends and we were having a conversation about things going on in life and the things the Lord has been working in us and we ended up talking about personality types and I was reminded of something the Lord did in me.

There are personalities.

Like, Melancholy, Choleric, Sanguine, and Phlegmatic.

Check it out if you don’t know.

It’s really interesting.

Well, when I found out I was a Choleric/Melancholy, or when I realized that personalities even had I type, I clung to that and allowed myself to conform to that personality type rather than let God form me into someone that a type just followed.

Ultimately, this all caused a lot of conflict in my soul. Since I had put this label on myself, I wanted to do everything to make myself exactly that, but I was miserable.

My soul was reaching out for love and affection but I had this personality face, which told me that I was introverted, bossy, and a deep thinker.

Which, is true, but also created this place in me where I began to use it as an excuse to be inconsiderate.

And although it’s true, it doesn’t give me an excuse to be a jerk.

If I am choleric, which says they are impatient, and I’m full of Holy Spirit, and one of the gifts of Holy Spirit are patience, then I have lost my excuse.

And honestly, regardless of every defect to our character, if we have Jesus in our lives, we are no longer living to our own selfish ways and desires anyways.

We are dead to ourselves and alive to God.

To say, “I’m this personality type so I can or can’t do this” is a lousy excuse to be a jerk.

I was sitting in my room upstairs one day and everyone was outside having fun in the snow, and I opened my bible, as I was thinking about how

“Introverted” I was being and was like, “Lord I’m here”. 

And truthfully, I had my nose stuck in the air with pride because of it.

And He told me to go outside and be with people.

It was then that I realized whatever I had thought about myself didn’t matter.

The longer I was selfish with how and what I wanted to do, I’d be miserable. 

And the only time I’d be truly fulfilled, is when doing things with people I love, even if I don’t like what I’m doing.

I ended up loving every minute of it and my heart tank was full of love that night.

Now, don’t go do something against what Jesus would do/say/or taught, to be with people you love.

That’s just ignorant.

But, get over your idea of how you think you’re supposed to be.

Get over what everyone has said you are.

Get over the labels you want to fill, they’re not real anyways.

Get over the fears of doing something you don’t want to do.

Get over yourself.

And go out and be with people you love,

With people who love you.

With people you want to love.

With people you don’t know.

Go do things you’d never do.

Even if you’re scared.

Even if you’re insecure in the moment.

Step out and embrace life.

It’s scary to do things you’ve never done before.

Oh but the thrill and the satisfaction that comes with sacrificial love

Is worth every drop.